Pastor Q&A // Part 4

QUESTION: What do I do about my Child who thinks they're gay?  Why is being gay bad?  

ANSWER: Pastor Trent

Don’t overreact and let your Child know that you love them. It takes courage for them to tell you these kinds of things, so the last thing you want to do is overreact, thereby making it difficult for the Child to be honest with you in the future. If it’s too late and you have already responded with anger, then ask for forgiveness and move on. It is also very important to keep this dialogue open with your Child. These conversations need to be peaceful and seasoned with love. Ask them what they mean by saying they are gay and how they came to that conclusion. Also, know that there is a difference between saying you are gay and saying you have feelings of being gay. Find out where they are in their relationship with God. Are they open to hearing what God’s word says about the subject? Asking these types of questions will help you understand what is going on in the heart of your Child. The more you know what your Child is thinking, the better you will be able to help them. 

Our standard for what is good and bad in the world must come from truth outside of ourselves. At the beginning of creation, God defines who we are as human beings. From the beginning, before sin entered, we see God’s perfect order and design for the world. God created male and female who become one flesh. Since sin entered the world we have distorted God’s designed and have “exchanged the truth about God for a lie and worshipped and served the creature rather than the Creator (Romans 1:25). Fortunately, God, the creator of human life has given us everything we need to live life to its fullest. If he created us, then he knows how life works best. We need to trust what he says is true and recognize God’s word as authority over our lives. Two main passages that speak on this topic in the Bible are found in Romans 1:24-29 and 1 Corinthians 6: 9-10. Both of these passages are very clear about whether homosexuality is wrong. In Romans, homosexuality is linked to the worship of self. In 1 Corinthians, Paul lists it with other sins and in essence, says that those who know these things are wrong but continue to practice them will “not inherit the kingdom of heaven.”

This topic is not an easy one and must be handled with grace and love, knowing we are all sinners in need of God’s grace. 

For further reading on this topic, I recommend these books:

  • What does the Bible Really Teach about Homosexuality? by Kevin DeYoung

  • Your Child Says, “I’m Gay” (mini book) by Tim Geiger

  • The Secret Thoughts of an Unlikely Convert: An English Professor's Journey into Christian Faith by Rosaria Butterfield